if you liked june, you’re going to love july!

let’s see:

encounters at the end of the world: the werner herzog film about antarctica. it’s not right to ask my opinion about it, since i’m obviously biased one way or another. either way, you don’t voice over people who are giving complicated answers to complicated questions. it’s rude. also, don’t feed people lines to say. it’s tacky. other than that, it was pretty good.

pride: highlights: margaret cho, mark leno in leather pants, jumping rope, queerleaders. (they’re not really “queerleaders”, but if you’re adult cheerleaders performing on stage at sf pride, that’s what i’m going to call you. also, they were effing amazing. bodies flying everywhere.) unhighlights: cyndi lauper’s no-show. boo!

cardboard tube fighting league (dolores park battle)
: the 12 and under match was first. there are few things that are more hilarious than children beating each other with cardboard tubes, and not being able to make contact because of a cardboard spongebob costume malfunction. the ensuing big kid battle was sheer mayhem.

bill. my roommate and bandmate from mcmurdo summer 06-07 bill. i like to mess with bill, mainly because he can hang. he comes to sf every couple years or so, usually from a long stint out of the country. in 2005, the day he returned to america after a 2 year stint in antarctica/new zealand/himalayas/japan, i took him to the fire arts festival to watch massive metal things explode. early the next morning we joined the bay to breakers as salmon spawning upstream. this time after a 12 hour flight from tierra del fuego, i met him at the airport and took him to the ctfl (see above). yesterday we went kayaking with bee and joolee in sausalito. killer houseboats. i want to live in the pink magic castle.

lawrence of arabia in 70mm at the castro theater:
i don’t know that there’s any other way to see this film.

math class: 3 more exams in the next 2 weeks. powering through. learning to love the quadratic equation and the least common demonator. yes, i meant to say demonator.

 

recipe for a guerrilla drive in birthday

recipe for guerrilla drive in:

1 projector*
1 FM transmitter  (1 watt – ok) *
1 antenna*
1 non metallic ladder for antenna
1 generator*
1 abandoned parking lot*
1 conveniently-located low standing blank billboard in said parking lot*
several friends who have stuff you don’t have
several friends who know what they’re doing with said stuff
copious amounts of spare time to mess around with said stuff
x number of cars tuned into broadcast station *
x number of radios
x number of lawnchairs
x number of friends
x bags of snacks
2x number of blankets (it was cold)
x number of couples dry humping in the back seat.

etc.

rule #34 is: you don’t watch movies at parties.especially birthday parties. i mean, the movie can be on, but no one is really watching it.  and what else can you do on your 30th birthday but watch logan’s run? so, guerrilla drive in. we distributed out lifecrystals according to age. we tuned into 102.5. and froze our asses off as we joined logan and jessica on their incredible adventure.

“in the future, it’s gonna look a lot like the 70s”  -christopher null, filmcritic.com

“good carousel tonight.” – logan from logan’s run.

thanks you everyone for the great presents and presence! i had fun. i feel so renewed….


there is no sanctuary.


*FM transmitter courtesy of pirate cat radio  – go to their new cafe, spend lots of money, and tell them i said thanks
*antenna courtesy of friend of pirate cat.
*genny/projector courtesy of chicken john. vote for him next time he runs for public office.
*ladder courtesy of

*abandoned parking lot courtesy of hollywood video on cesar chavez. get with the times, hollywood.
*blank billboard courtesy of lack of interest for billboards on cesar chavez
*people who know stuff – RICK! and don and julian. thank you!

bingo, mini golf, redwoods, and a jewish wedding

don’t you just love small towns?


this is what happens when you incorrectly call bingo in guerneville

bee and i found the most terrificest mini golf course in all the land. it’s hiding in guerneville on the russian river (sonoma county). pee wee mini golf is about a 15 min walk from town, and has two courses of the kitchiest, well-taken care of, most freshly painted sculptures ever. among the blast off rocket that said ‘pee wee’ on it, your everyday mini golf dinos, loop-dee-loops, psychedelic mushrooms, snakes, cruising zones, and a kangaroo tail, i do give them massive credit for the cannibal couple cooking a naked man in a cauldron. now that’s creativity!

on our way back to the cabins (in the redwoods!), we noted that bingo was being hosted at the local oddfellows hall. as we strolled in, we realized it was not your average bingo night, nooo. while the senior contigent was present, strong, and dominating the front half of the room, we soon recognized some familiar whiteface makeup patterns. as it turns out, the russian river sisters of perpetual indulgence chapter is HUGE – 30 sisters in a town of 5,000 people (as opposed to the SF chapter – which has over 60 sisters in a town of 800,000).
bee had never played bingo before. he was excited and nervous and stared at his cards and shook his dobber with glee. (hey you, get your mind out of the gutter!!) it was so packed, we had trouble finding seats. while in other chapters, the sisters (you may have heard of them as ‘drag queen nuns’) mainly do fundraisers for nonprofits that serve the queer and sex-positive community, the benefit of this particular bingo night was for LOMI psychotherapy clinic. we arrived just in time for “FREE SHIT FREE SHIT” and dobber boy.
you see, sisters’ bingo is more than just bingo. it’s raffles, giveaways, and a floor show. everyone received 5 raffle tickets with their $20 entry fee. inbetween bingo sets, the sisters would do a FREE SHIT giveaway, where players would pound their dobbers on the tables and shout in unison: “FREE SHIT FREE SHIT FREE SHIT!” they would give away things like wine, wine holders, a barbie doll, a cookie tin, an oil change, christmas ornaments, easter candy, used CDs, and gay porn. i jget a certain amount of joy to think of an aging woman receiving gay pron, but, they love it up in guerneville, as there were over 200 people in the hall, every seat taken and some standing. and most of the attendees were not gay.
the funny part was when someone would incorrectly call bingo, which happened during our first game. the sisters spotted him as a good sport, took off his shirt, picked up the butterfly nets, and started collecting dollars to dob the dobber boy (see above picture).
and, it being father’s day and all, there was a little daddy game. they called a line of daddies to the front of the hall to have a race to be the first to put on an adult diaper (not a pull-up), bib, bonnet, pacifier, and chug to the bottom of a baby bottle of dubious fluid.
we played more bingo. we played bingo until 10:30pm. we did not win. we rolled across the street to the rainbow grill (yeah, i guess it is a gay town) for 2 for 1 well drinks for bingo players.

the next day we leisurely drove over to occidental and up the beautiful scrubby hills for a friends’ wedding. the rabbi was a hoot, bella danced around with her pet plushie yeast, it was the best looking cake i ever did see, and the band was killer. imagine gogol bordello meets something your jewish grandmother would like. hava nagila!

paleontologist barbie has a posse

last week i went out to dinner with my old friend hilary who i haven’t seen in a long time. she’s working for the usda now, poking and testing meat. having been a long time student herself, she asked me what classes i would be taking next semester. right now, i am thinking of psych 5, convo russian, another anthro class, and for my lab science i though paleontology would be fun and related to my major.
she had that look on her face, as if her brain was a car speeding down the highway and slamming on the brakes. she flung herself into her room and emerged with a pink box. inside, there’s barbie, in her short little khaki shorts, pink neckerchief, hat, army green backpack, and pink canteen. in her cardboard and plastic domicile, she is accompanied by 2 small dinosaurs no larger than the combined size of her breasts.

introducing paleontologist barbie, a special edition career collection barbie, because “we girls can do anything.” it even says so on the box. hilary suggested this was in response to “math is hard” barbie (aka “girls are stupid” barbie).  (see also: http://sniggle.net/barbie.php)

i’ve decided that paleontologist barbie is my new lab partner.