legoland, salvation mountain, and a drive thru donut

i’m a big fan of american kitsch and roadside attractions. perhaps it’s just my optimistic view of being an american today. i am a hawaiian shirt wearing gay man in my 50s who lives in an airstream with 2 obligatory plastic pink flamingos in the yard, caught in a 30 year old female body. i have all the necessary tchochky collections to get me into the club – pez dispensers, snowglobes (~250), and beloved lunchboxes, not to mention my polyester eyesore dresses. someday, when i grow up, my house is going to be so cool.
when i get in a car, i reference

this thanksgiving holiday season,  , devilcrayon, and i took a little road trip to the wonderful and weird southern california. i know nothing about this place, except that it’s between here and mexico and they have a lot of plastic surgery clinics. thanksgiving was spent learning to make pies, competing for oven space, and eating with bryan’s friend’s family. i met a woman who worked in mcmurdo 35 years ago, so we were instantly BFF and spoke to no one else for the entire night.

friday morning, we swerved over turnbull canyon, admired the smog, appreciated san francisco, and landed in la puente. you haven’t lived until you’ve driven through a donut.

also, the donuts are good. that’s saying something for a girl who hardly eats donuts.
we sat in the parking lot across the street, taking photos, (  recognizes class when he sees it. thanks for squidding us.) and admiring the awesomeness of the donut. if you are a fan of giant donuts, and find yourself in southern cal, this is your guide to awesome.

the rest of the day we went to legoland and i screamed and ran around chasing rollercoasters. 10 years ago, while tooling around europe, i spent a lot of money to take a detour into denmark, just to go to legloand in billund. it was necessary. i didn’t even go to copenhagen. as i passed through the rite-of-passage turnstile, and felt a pang of childish immature excitement strike me in the chest, a pang of shear "oh shit" slap me in the face. no less than 20 feet from the entrance, was a large sign proclaiming "COMING IN 1999 – LEGOLAND CALIFORNIA!" fuck you, denmark. if there was a talking moose, i would have punched it in the snout.

so, i’ve always wanted to go. hooray! there’s egyptland, pirateland, and miniland, in addition to the many other lands we didn’t have time to play in. miniland is pretty much the best, as there’s a boat tour that takes you around to the re-creations of international monuments, and another area with entire US cities, built entirely from lego. i don’t care how much of a hater you are, it’s pretty inpressive. wheeee!

i’ll expand upon the beauty of salvation mountain at another time. thank you.

7 thoughts on “legoland, salvation mountain, and a drive thru donut

  1. I thought they didn’t let you into Legoland unless you had a child in tow. Did you bring a kid with you or is this another damnable lie from the breeder-industrial complex?

  2. Speaking on behalf of the gigantic horned mammals, punching a Moose in the snout is not acceptable!

    There’s also a legoland in Germany, off the A8, I think, kinda Northeast of Stuttgart. We passed by it on our beer drinking tour!

    Da Moose, who likes his snout unpunched.

  3. nope. we went child-free. the only place i know of where the must-bring-child rule is in effect is children’s fairyland in oakland, ca.

  4. moose,
    you know, of course, i was speaking in reference to the wally world moose in national lampoons vacation. which is one of the best movies ever.


  5. Hello Ms Sandwichgirl,

    Today I received my Netflix and it was a film I had been waiting to see in a while, that film was “Encounters at the End Of the World”.

    I’ve been facinated by Antartica and one of my “bucket list” entry is to visit Antartica. So, after enjoying the film I decided to dig around about Antartica and such…and by pure accident ran into your Flickr account featuring this fantastic fotos!!!!

    OMG, I almost peeded myself when I saw Bill and y’all posing for the Calendar photos, freakin awesome! Anywho, I have seen all of your pictures..believe me, i’m no stalker, however, you have renewed my spirit of enjoying life for what it is and being in the moment.

    I mean, if you guys had that much fun in Antartica, how the hell can one not make it the best that one can anywhere you happen to be.

    So, I had to let you know that you touched me and inspired me to live outside my little world and live in the moment and have FUN. I’m a 40something gay man in Dallas texas that has seen it all and burned out, but that doesn’t mean to check out of life in “adult” world. So perhaps tonight I shall drag out my afro puff wig and slap some daisies on it and make it a special night. :)


  6. wow gilbert, thanks. i’m glad you were inspired. how did your wig-wearing fancy night go?

    (ps – werner didn’t think i was interesting enough to keep in his film. jerk.)

  7. Yep… I think this could be it. Where have you been all my life? Those two horrible roadtrips to Buffalo, NY would’ve been so much better with you in my life. And that time a Dutch friend of mine came to visit and we roadtripped from Memphis to Minneapolis… poor guy… he knew me before I had found Thank you, Sandwich. Consider me a changed woman.


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