i’m a big fan of american kitsch and roadside attractions. perhaps it’s just my optimistic view of being an american today. i am a hawaiian shirt wearing gay man in my 50s who lives in an airstream with 2 obligatory plastic pink flamingos in the yard, caught in a 30 year old female body. i have all the necessary tchochky collections to get me into the club – pez dispensers, snowglobes (~250), and beloved lunchboxes, not to mention my polyester eyesore dresses. someday, when i grow up, my house is going to be so cool.
when i get in a car, i reference roadsideamerica.com.
this thanksgiving holiday season,
friday morning, we swerved over turnbull canyon, admired the smog, appreciated san francisco, and landed in la puente. you haven’t lived until you’ve driven through a donut.
also, the donuts are good. that’s saying something for a girl who hardly eats donuts.
we sat in the parking lot across the street, taking photos, (
the rest of the day we went to legoland and i screamed and ran around chasing rollercoasters. 10 years ago, while tooling around europe, i spent a lot of money to take a detour into denmark, just to go to legloand in billund. it was necessary. i didn’t even go to copenhagen. as i passed through the rite-of-passage turnstile, and felt a pang of childish immature excitement strike me in the chest, a pang of shear "oh shit" slap me in the face. no less than 20 feet from the entrance, was a large sign proclaiming "COMING IN 1999 – LEGOLAND CALIFORNIA!" fuck you, denmark. if there was a talking moose, i would have punched it in the snout.
so, i’ve always wanted to go. hooray! there’s egyptland, pirateland, and miniland, in addition to the many other lands we didn’t have time to play in. miniland is pretty much the best, as there’s a boat tour that takes you around to the re-creations of international monuments, and another area with entire US cities, built entirely from lego. i don’t care how much of a hater you are, it’s pretty inpressive. wheeee!
i’ll expand upon the beauty of salvation mountain at another time. thank you.